I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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