Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so let's talk penis.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
