i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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