Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
