Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
