My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
