you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
