Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
