I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This baby is an asshole
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
