I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
