Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
