ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
