You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This is not my ceiling
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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