Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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