White coat. Heels.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
