last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize