As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize