I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
