turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
