Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
