Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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