he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
