ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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