who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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