your parents love me but you hate me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
