i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
