last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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