just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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