i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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