Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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