That's when you crack a 10am beer
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
