We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
