no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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