If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
found the other keg... it's in the tree
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You've changed since you got that strap on
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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