He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
