so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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