It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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