Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
