I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize