I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
