Dual....:-)
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I AM VODKA MAN
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
