I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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