found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize