i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
