I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
