She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
