who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize