i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize