i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No subtext here. People are naked.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
