So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
