That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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