Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
