I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
