I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
