You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
