As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
