Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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