I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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