Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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