dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
