I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Houston, we have a squirter
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
