I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
